Should I stay or should I go?
After my last blog (My First 90 days at Netflix), I was asked why I decided to explore other opportunities? My answer…why not? Done. Well, I can not answer a question with a question and that makes for a short and boring blog, so let me elaborate on why I considered other opportunities in the midst of a pandemic. In my next blog post I will go into detail on how I decided which opportunity to take despite all of the usual emotions we experience during such a change.
I started at Mailchimp in June 2019 working as a full stack engineer learning PHP for the backend and React for the frontend. I loved the challenge of learning 2 new languages and I really enjoyed diving into the world of growth engineering, A/B testing and experimentation. As I learned more about our code base, I saw opportunities for improvement throughout our engineering processes. Now, anyone who knows me well knows that I am a person of action and I did not let the fact that I had been at Mailchimp for less than 4 months keep me from taking action.
Fortunately, I was able to build relationships with phenomenal engineers who were also eager to take action and we were able to set some things in motion to improve our codebase and our development experience. Throughout my year at Mailchimp, however, I could not shake the feeling that I made a big cultural misstep and wonder if I could really be a cultural fit. I worried I did not quite embody the company’s motto of “listen hard, change fast” the way I probably should have. Maybe I did not “listen hard” enough when I first joined and was trying to change things a bit too fast as a newcomer on the scene.
As my one year anniversary crept closer, I also realized my stance that “I will code in anything” was a flat out lie. Coming from Java and Spring to learn PHP was to put it nicely… torture. I do not understand why anyone could possibly enjoy coding in PHP and this comic makes so much more sense now that I have learned it.
Both cultural fit and my desire to maybe leave PHP behind were on my mind as my anniversary approached. This date is significant because I had vowed to always re-evaluate my career and current role every year. No matter how happy or content I may be. Some may argue that I should have more loyalty to my company but in the words of Lesley Gore, they “don’t own me”.
I am a business of one. I need to be intentional in my career to get to where I want to go and that is not possible if I do not regularly evaluate my circumstances and ensure they are in line with my career goal and vision. Companies are often put in hard situations to have to let go of their employees when it is best for the company so why can’t I do the same? So what is next? Another year at Mailchimp and continue focusing on my goal of a promotion to Staff Engineer? Or is there something else that I had not quite considered?
As you can imagine, it was easier for me to just stay put and continue on the path I was already on. I liked Mailchimp after all (despite PHP) and I think I had figured out how best to navigate the company and continue to help fellow engineers have an impact on our codebase and product overall. It was comfortable and consistent and definitely something I needed in the midst of a pandemic that is the epitome of chaos and uncertainty. There were tech companies all over experiencing hiring freezes or layoffs due to the economy and I ran the risk of possibly joining a new company only to be jobless a month later.
But then what about the people? What about the managers who became my mentors in my tenure? What about the pride I felt working at a company with such diversity I could sit at my desk and throw a rock in any one direction to land at the feet of a woman engineering manager or a Black engineering director or other diverse people from all walks of life with a variety of rich experiences. I had never seen an office so diverse in my career and many companies continue to struggle with that kind of representation. It was great not to be the “only” on my team and I felt heard and supported during a time of racial injustice as well. Could I be possibly giving that up?
Well, emotionally my heart said “Stay put!”. But logically, my brain said “What is the worst that could happen to just see what is out there?”. This made sense! Best case scenario, I learn of an opportunity that met all of my criteria and is closer aligned to what I wanted to do next in my career. Worst case, I stay at a company I enjoy, see the projects we had started through to the end, and focus on figuring out what would be a good next step for me at Mailchimp.
So there you have it. After a month of agonizing about if I should really start responding to those active recruiters on LinkedIn, I decided to at least evaluate every new role I happened upon or respond to every message I received and see where that would take me. It didn’t take long for me to be faced with 3 fantastic options (including Mailchimp) and the agonizing began again. Thankfully my handy dandy n̶o̶t̶e̶b̶o̶o̶k̶ “career framework” took the emotions out of the decision for me and helped me decide once and for all what was next for me in my career. Check out my next post if you want to learn more about it!
